bittersweet

hi there my ducklings.  again, I have to apologise for not writing for so long.  it has been a difficult and strange couple of months.  there has been more than my fair share or sadness and stress, but then again there has been so much joy.  hard adventures have turned into happiness, and stressful situations are now exciting.  i know that i am being pretty vague, but i have to be.  all i can say is that i have cried along with close friends and laughed with them too.  i've worried and stressed about my life situations, only to have them turn out wonderfully.  i got to visit an incredibly beautiful place for a really hard reason.  and yet, like all things, the sun has come out, trees are green, and summer is coming.  i am so happy today, the sky is blue, and the birds are singing.  but....

i found out happy/sad news this wednesday.  happy- beacuse i have a new job!!!  i finally have been promoted to a higher position with the library district, and i couldn't be more thrilled.  i will be doing things i love- working with kids and teens, serving the public by helping with reference questions, and hopefully getting to use my spanish skills to help the community.  it doesn't hurt that it pays more, either- and i am not driving an hundred and fifty miles (yup, that's what i have been doing) every day.  i am excited.  but i found out this wednesday (two days ago) and will be starting my new job on tuesday (six day notice).  which means that today is my last day here.  i haven't even really had time to process what that means. 

i will miss it.  i will miss driving to these beautiful places and coming to these awesome schools.  i will miss my kids- especially the one i'm teaching to knit, and who i help with finding all the classics on her reading list.  i will miss gossiping with teachers and community members who stop in for a book and a chat.  i will miss kindergarten hugs.  i will not miss the middleschoolers all that much, but such is the nature of the age.  i was thinking this morning as i was driving to the mountains, "this is the last time!  how can this be the last time i drive here and see this amazing place?" 

honestly, i shouldn't be so sad- this would have been my last day for the summer anyway, as the school is undergoing construction and we wouldn't have been in there anyway.  i was going to be doing storytimes though, and one of my awesome coworkers has volunteered to do them.  i know my kiddos will be in good hands.  i just hope that i will be able to drive out just once and see them again.  i'll have to make a point of visiting. 

bittersweet.  that has been my life this spring.  as much as i look forward to my future, i am sad about what i am leaving.  it's a hard thing, this change.  i will be happy- all the way happy- soon.  and hopefully, it will mean that i am back to writing about my silly life, the food i make, and the things i knit.  i have missed it.