ok, let's face it. i spend an inordinate amount of time in chipotle mexican grill. i can't help it. they just need to stop putting crack in all of their food- because that's really the only reason i can think of that would result in my level of chronic addiction. also, the burritos are the size of my head. when you're as poor as i am, that's a really big selling point. at any rate, i'm there a lot. for some reason, the chipotle that i frequent has a lot of people who make fashion choices that most kindly could be described as "questionable" and unkindly described as "awful". now, i'm not against making a bold fashion statement, mind, but well- just let me tell you what i've seen:
#1: brown girl in brown, skintight volleyball shorts. now, i know that one of our local high school's colors are white and brown- i get that. but this girl's skin was the exact same shade as her teeny tiny shorts, and i first saw her from behind. she looked like she was only wearing a shirt. a short shirt. i was horrified until she turned around, and then i realized that she had an androgynous barbie doll front. i was still horrified, but only to understand that she didn't care that people might think she was going around bare-assed. ahh, to be seventeen again.
#2: pith helmet and short shorts with sandals on a portly gentleman. it may not have actually been a pith helmet, but dude looked like indiana jones crossed with an elderly day tourist. i almost expected him to burst out with an "egad! an oriole in its natural environment! take its picture with me for posterity! include my whip!" except for that we were in a chain burrito restaurant.
#3 a younger guy with pockets that were entirely too decorated. i don't have much to say about this- you've all seen those guys. but seriously- how do they sit down comfortably? i would think all that ass bling chafes.
#4 hipster in light blue and grey striped shirt, khaki cargo shorts, and black air jordans with knee high black socks. i guess when you're still figuring out your identity, your wardrobe can become confused. it's all: "i'm a sensitive, poetry writing, dave matthews band loving, tree hugging liberal" on top and "i can talk about sports!!!!! see? i have basketball shoes! i'm like a gangster!" on the bottom. gotta play to all the demographics, ya know. who knows what the girls like nowadays, anyway?
in case you guys are wondering, except for one of these, i saw all of this today. my chipotle is, frankly, awesome like that. and no. i'm not telling you where it is. get your own people watching restaurant! (preferably one that puts crack in their food. it helps with the people watching if you have to be there all the time.)
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